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> >>
> >>Story 1
> >>Ah  Lian ask shopkeeper: Eh Ah chek, u got sell stocking up to
knee,
boh?
> >>
> >>  Ah Chek : Lu siao ah!  stocking wear up to ‘yeo’  (waist) only,
where
> >>got up to the ‘nee’(breast)  one.
> >>
> >>
> >>Story 2
> >>Ah Beng bought a Honda VTI recently  and drove to Ah Lian’s place
to
show
> >>it to her. So there Ah Beng was bragging  the various functions of
his
new
> >>car to his girlfriend.
> >>
> >>  "This is ah, so fast even the Mata Chia cannot catch  ah!"
> >>
> >>  "Ha! Really ah!!!  Steady lah!" said Ah Lian.
> >>
> >>  "Some more hor, this is  Automatic one, vely easy to drive!"
> >>
> >>  So Ah Lian said, "Let  me try! I wan, I wan!"
> >>
> >>  So Ah Lian took the  driver’s seat and shifted the gear and
floored
the
> >>& accelerator.
> >>The  next moment, the car sped backwards and crashed into the
lamp-post.
> >>
> >>  "Alamak! What u doing?  U Siao Char Bo! U see lah!  Wah Piang
eh!"
> >>screamed Ah  Beng.
> >>
> >>  "Solee, solee, pai sah  lah! No lah, I tot hor, "R" for racing
mah!"*
> >>
> >>
> >>Story 3
> >>The  Titanic was sinking, and there weren’t enough lifeboats. So
the
> >>captain had to  persuade male passengers to jump into the icy
waters
to
> >>make room for women and  children.
> >>
> >>  To the British he said.  "You must act like gentlemen." They
jumped.
> >>
> >>  To the Americans he  said, "You can be heroes." They complied.
> >>
> >>  To the Germans he said,  "It’s the rule." They obeyed.
> >>
> >>  To the Japanese he  said," It’s the consensus." They obliged.
> >>
> >>  Then came the  Singaporean and they just weren’t budging until he
came
> >>up with the  appeal:
> >>  "Free life jackets for  those who jumped."
> >>
> >>
> >>Story 4
> >>3 recruits - Chinese, Malay  & Indian are at the army supply base
to
> >>collect underwear. The sergeant was  there to aid the supplies.
> >>
> >>  Sergeant: Hei Ah Beng!  How many underwear you need ah?
> >>
> >>  Ah Beng: (thinks a  while) 7 sasen(sergeant)!
> >>
> >>  Sergeant: (puzzled) How  come so many?
> >>
> >>  Ah! Beng: Mon, Tues,  Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat & Sun. One day one.
> >>Sergeant: (Malay recruit) Eh  Mat! How many underwear?
> >>
> >>  Mat: (without  hesitation) 6 sargen!
> >>
> >>  Sergeant: (curious) How  come six?
> >>
> >>  Mat: Mon, Tues, Wed,  Thurs, Sat & Sun. Friday I wear sarong.
> >>
> >>  Sergeant: (Indian  recruit) Dei Tambi. How many underwears dah
dei?
> >>
> >>  Tambi: (very  confidently) 12 Sarjen !!!!
> >>
> >>  Sergeant: (shocked  & fell to the ground) Why you need so many
for?
> >>
> >>  Tambi: January,  February, March…..One month one.
> >>
> >>
> >>Story 5
> >>Once upon a  time, a group of Ah Bengs stepped into a lounge and
wanted
> >>the DJ to play  the
> >>  song "Ah Cheng Buey Ro  Ti" (In Hokkien means Ah Cheng buys
bread).
The
> >>DJ told them that they only have  English songs and told them to
re-select
> >>another song. The Ah Bengs were very  angry and kicked up a
bigfuss,
> >>claiming the DJ was insulting them. The manager  had to intervene
in
order
> >>to calm them down. Finally, after long talk with Ah  Bengs, the
manager
> >>found out that Ah Bengs actually asking for the song  "Unchained
Melody"
> >>by the Righteous Brothers.
> >>
> >>
> >>Story 6
> >>One  day, two Ah Lians got into a lift from the 20th storey and
want
to
> >>get down to  the ground floor. As they looked at the dial, they
could
see
> >>the number 20 down  to number 2. It was then followed by a G. As
they
not
> >>English-educated, they  were puzzled and had no idea  what does the
letter
> >>G mean. Suddenly one of  them exclaimed excitedly and hit G. When
they
> >>finally reached the ground floor,  the other Ah Lian was so
impressed
and
> >>asked the first Ah Lian, "Wah low!!!, how  you know one?" The first
Ah
> >>Lian reply smugly, "Easy lah.. G for Gero mah…"
> >>
> >>
> >>Story 7
> >>Santa Singh (remember him?) just graduated from  Law school and
decided
to
> >>apply for a job in the most prestigious "Lee & Lee  Law Firm"
> >>
> >>  During the interview,  Mr. Lee KY looked at Santa Singh’s resume,
thinks
> >>for a while and said, "Well, I  would need to discuss your
application
> >>with my wife."
> >>
> >>  And went off to discuss  Santa’s application with his wife. Lee
KY’s
> >>wife said, "C’mon, don’t you know  that we only hire lawyers with
surnames
> >>beginning with ‘Lee’ only? Of course, we  can’t hire Santa Singh!"
> >>
> >>  So Lee KY told the bad  news to Santa Singh about his rejection.
> >>
> >>  Few days later, Santa  Singh came back to the same company and
request
> >>for another interview and Lee KY  said, ‘Look Santa, I have already
told
> >>you that we only hire…….’
> >>when  Santa Singh interrupted him and said, ‘I know, I know. I have
just
> >>changed my  name.
> >>  Lee K Y looked at Santa Singh in  surprise and asked,  "What is
your
new
> >>name then?"
> >>On this, Santa Singh replied, ‘Surname Lee,  Last name, Manga!’
> >>(Manga-Lee)
> >>
> >>

This entry was posted on Friday, October 20th, 2006 at 2:43 am and is filed under Current Affairs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.